Thursday, December 10, 2015

All the Rabbits are Slow in Doggie Heaven

I went for a car ride today… All by myself… Don’t worry, I’m not gonna sing for ya’… Who’s got that song stuck in their head now???

My dad had to carry me down the steps and help me into the car… I can still walk, but it hurts and I can’t go far… I get tired…

I got the whole back car seat to myself… My brothers stayed home… They will take good care of you, dad… We doggie talked about it…

Dad, and, our friend, Vicky took me to see the doc… They were very nice there and gave me a blanket to lay on…

I was so relaxed I fell asleep in with my head in my dad’s lap…                               

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Wow!!! I feel like I can run again… It doesn’t hurt… I’m running off the leash… Dad is still sitting with my head in his lap… What is this place??? Lots of dogs here… some cats here… I’ll try to ignore them…  

I feel like I’m almost flying… Ha, dad used to joke that is was time for me to fly when he would pick me up out of the RV or to carry me down the apartment steps…

Hey, I wonder who those guys are running towards me… I think I’ve seen pictures of one… Hey wait, I played with the other one a few times when I was little… Ha, almost knocked dad out cold, one time…

Sniff… Snifff… Snifff… “Hi, Riley, I’m Jack… This is Buddy… He told me you two already met a long time ago”… Sniffff, Snifffff…

Wow, yeah it was a long time ago… I’m sure we all sniffed a lot of butts between then and now… I heard a lot about you, Jack… Did you know I was coming here today???

“Yes, your dad told us… Said to make sure we met you at the bridge and showed you around… You took good care of him through a lot of adventures… He wants us to take good care of you… We will all see him again some day.”

Showed me around where??? Where are we???

Buddy, never one to wait to speak, screamed… “YOU’RE IN DOGGIE HEAVEN, RILEY!!!”

Doggie Heaven???

“Yeah, it’s great here… We all can run as fast as ever… No one’s legs hurt… No one ever gets sick… This place is great!!!”

Is he telling the truth, Jack??? My legs feel great now… They will never hurt again???

“He’s telling the truth, Riley… No more pain, run all you like…”

“See, I told you… And even better… All the rabbits are slow in Doggie Heaven…”

Really, we get to chase slow rabbits??? That’s cool…

“Let’s go chase some now…”

Hey, wait… Sniff, Snifff, Sniffff…

You smell that??? I ain’t wasting my time chasing slow rabbits… It’s FIFI… SHE’S IN HEAT AGAIN!!!!

It’s not just my legs that work good again… 

Monday, November 23, 2015

Thoroughly Thoreau

In a Facebook status posted earlier today…

The boys and I have been living "Off the Grid" for more than a year... But as we sit in the grip of the Idaho winter and the even colder weather to come... Plans have been made to move into an apartment next week... Details to be announced next week following the move... 

My question... Is this an admission to "getting soft" in my old age??? Luckily, they have pills for that...

Yes, it is for “The Boys”… Riley for sure… And as I have said many times previously, all decisions are based on what’s best for them… Riley’s get up and go hasn’t got up and gone yet… And as long as there’s still a light in his eyes and I can manage his pain with meds… He’ll get the best life I can give him… 

The other two as well, but they are doing fine… And we will be “Off the Grid” again…

One thing to consider/to remember is… Less is more… Don’t fill the apartment with too many things that I don’t need… Things I will have to get rid of when winter is over and it is time to go off grid again…

Whether that is this coming summer or we wait to just head south prior to next winter remains to be seen… And I am already looking forward to it… We’ve learned a lot about this life in the last year… This break gives us some time to make some upgrades and repairs to the RV… So we’ll be ready to head into the next round of off grid adventure with a better plan… And thoroughly Thoreau…

Happy trails to you… Until I write again… Help me get my readership up... Please share the link to my blog... 

Monday, November 16, 2015

Life, Liberty and Pursuit of Happiness

Well… Trying to put the random thoughts running through my consciousness into any sensible order is proving quite difficult… So this blog, while sure to be entertaining… May prove to be a very difficult read…

Expanding upon some recent Facebook status updates… The friend’s list trim is complete for now… Though I stand as ready to point and click as I do to point and shoot… hopefully you do as well… Sadly, it’s coming to our shores… Invited and imported… If you are reading this and you voted for Obama… You voted for it to happen here… Proving you weren’t racist was more important to you… Hell, we know you're not racist... One of you never fails to remind everyone your wife is half black... 

“Free Healthcare” was more important to you and now you are surprised to find out it isn’t “Free”…

Sadly, many of the ones cut from the friends list will never admit to being fooled… I guess you just can’t give up feeling smarter than everyone else after taking 6 years to complete community college…  Please just once give me something to respect about you… Just once admit the idiots you blindly vote for are criminals…

I won’t hold my breath waiting for it… This time you’ll vote for Bernie because you want something for free… Or you’ll vote turn a blind eye to Hillary’s criminal behavior and a deaf ear to her lies and pull the lever… Massaging your conscience by saying something stupid like… “I vote straight line American Workers Party”…

How's that been working out for you anyway??? Some of you are living in the ghetto... Some of you are still home with mom and dad... They must be so proud... 

Yeah, whatever makes you feel better…

Moving down the list of subjects I made to touch on today…

Plans for the future…

Well… Who knows what the future holds come springtime… Could be nuclear war…

But hoping for the best… The boys and I will be heading to the mountains somewhere… Washington, Oregon, Colorado or California for obvious reasons… Maybe as a camp host on BLM or Forestry Service land… Or maybe just as a long term off the grid camper…

There are numerous options… I’m not going to list them here… I kind of like people not knowing where the fuck I am… Hell, there’s plenty of times I have no idea where I am… Why the fuck should anyone else know???

While we are doing okay for now living in town… It’s not a big town… It’s much better living far from everyone…

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. - Henry David Thoreau

Ready, willing and able to defend our right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness… We are stocking up on more than candy bars to take camping with us… ‘nuff said…

Doing everything possible to keep Riley as healthy, happy, strong and with us on our adventures as long as possible…

The boys and what’s best for them continue to be the basis for most of my decisions… I wouldn’t want it any other way…

The blessings continue for us daily… Sometimes simple and small… Sometimes much bigger… Being mindful of my thoughts to manifest good… Aware and grateful for even the simplest good that comes our way… Opportunities, my job, friends, an extended hand, a simple smile and a pleasant conversation… Appreciating it all…

Gratitude is my god and religion… Practice and celebrate Thanksgiving daily…


Time for dinner… 

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Insights and Observations…

Now more than two months into working the other side of the customer service fence… I won’t say which side I think is greener… But I would like to share some Insights and Observations…

If you call me to reserve a room and you are constantly repeating any info I give you back to your wife, while seeking her OK and answering her questions… HAND HER THE FUCKING PHONE!!!

If you call me and constantly ask me to repeat everything I say… TURN YOUR GODDAMN TV DOWN WHILE YOU ARE ON THE PHONE!!!

I understand I might be the only friendly voice you have spoken to all day… BUT it doesn’t mean I don’t have other people to talk to… Like the line of people standing at the front desk waiting for me to finish your phone call… It’s not time for one more question… It’s not time for chit chat about the ballgame or anything else… It’s time to finish the call…

While the rude ones have made me aware of my own behavior and more patient with service… I felt the need to vent the frustration caused by the stupid ones… It feels good to unload…


Thought this was going to be longer and who knows… I will probably encounter even stupider ones and have to add them to this list… But for now… Happy Tails to you… Until I write, again… Goodnight…

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Only the Lonely...

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. - Henry David Thoreau


I came across this link a few days ago and it started me thinking… Yes, the gears were grinding and noisy… http://therelaxedmind.com/the-truth-about-loneliness/

I realized it was because I haven’t taken the time lately to oil them… I wasn’t “lonely” in the mountains on my way back to Idaho Falls… Just the dogs and me…

Many places without a cell phone signal or internet connection… Time to think… Time to write… Time to be with me… Time to be grateful… Time to listen… No distractions… No bustle… No hustle… No place to be and all day to already be there… Never lonely…

Yes, there were the daily chores of living… Caring for myself and the boys… But there was never a rush… Though Simon always seems to be in a rush to eat… We never ate “alone”…

I took the time daily… To think… To be grateful… To listen… To write… And though the only human contact I had for 8 weeks was when stopping for fuel… I was never lonely…

“ …for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want…” Php4:11-12



What I realized after reading the article referenced above is… Now that I am in “town” virtually surrounded by people comparatively speaking… I do feel alone…

The distractions of life too easily eating away at the time to think… To listen… To feel… There’s deadlines, work schedules and trips to the gym that all need to be fit in around the daily chores of living… All the while surrounded by people all doing the same thing… All going the nowhere at the same break neck speed… All of them alone…

Not realizing the need to slow down… None of them truly connecting to each other… None of them realizing the need to connect with themselves first… Too busy to think about it… Too busy to listen to the “small quiet voice” inside them trying desperately to be heard… It screams… “Slow down!!! Shut up!!! Listen!!!” All of them alone while surrounded by life…

While always trying to remember to be grateful… I realized I had gotten out of the habit of writing a list of gratitude’s first thing each day… Something I started doing each day while in the mountains… Sometimes many, sometimes only a few… It slowed me down and made me stop to remember how blessed I am… I wrote a new list today…



Off from work until 11 pm tomorrow night… I am taking the time to reconnect again with myself… With the boys and the universe… To think… To listen… To feel…  And while I will be here, in Idaho Falls, for a while… Research is being done and plans are being made to again… Create a life I don’t need a vacation from…

For those who may be wondering… As far as comedy goes… I have no desire to integrate into a local comedy scene anywhere… See my statement above concerning feeling alone while being surrounded by people…

Occasional road comedy or no comedy is fine with me… I’ll be working at the hotel for now... Doing some media and voice over work… Writing this blog and maybe a podcast from the forest sometime next year…

And for those who need to get away there will always be a seat beside my camp fire…



Well… It’s time to sit and listen again today… So… Happy Trails to you… Until I write again… 

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Looking Back, Looking Back, Looking Back... (Sung to the tune of Welcome Back, Kotter)

So... Looking back...

2003 to 2010... She couldn't find a job or hold any she did manage to find in the Rochester/Williamson N.Y. area... Somehow that was my fault...

2010 to 2013... She couldn't find a job or hold the ONE she did find in the Idaho Falls area... Somehow that and the 50 pounds she gained in 10 yrs was my fault, too...

Funny... I found a job immediately in California and kept it 7 months until it was time to move...

Funny... I lost 25 pounds cooking for myself... Walking everyday and not drinking a half gallon of gin every week to stand living with her...

Even funnier... I have been back in Idaho Falls less than a month... Found a job ON THE WAY here... Found TWO MORE since getting here... Found them today…

Yes, I have three part time jobs and turned another one down... Couldn't be happier... Freedom will do that to you... Yep, that's my fault, too...


Be careful what you believe... Or she'll have you believing she really was a joy to live with... And that... That will be your own fault... I warned you... #irony


Saturday, August 29, 2015

A Full Moon Mindful...

Had a very interesting day yesterday and I’m doing my best to be “mindful” of the synchronicities and positive manifestations when they happen…

Dropped a resume off for another part time gig as a bartender… Private Club… While conversing with the manager he noticed “standup comedian” on my resume… As the conversation shifted to... “Would you be interested in doing a show here sometime after October???”

In the Navy we called… 2.5 knowledge, as the ability to recognize the right answer…

“Let me grab a promo pack out of my truck.”

So yeah, I’d be real interested… Stay tuned…

It is “Grand Opening” weekend for the new owner at The Cellar restaurant… A wine tasting had the place full last night… So we were busy… Worked hard… But had fun… Really enjoyed talking to all the people… Even told a few jokes… Had a few laughs and came “home” happy to a beautiful full moon and my three wonderful boys…

As the boys and I walked in the moonlight I really was aware that Idaho isn’t such a bad place… I’ve certainly been to worse… It’s beautiful here… Pondering on that as we finished our walk… I sat on the farm house steps and remembered actually liking it here the first 4 months I was here in 2010…

I was ALONE in an apartment my first 4 months here in 2010… September thru December… I was making friends and enjoyed my work…

What brought about the change after that???

I was working straight days at INL the first 4 months I was here and though the days were still long… They weren’t shift work death sentence long…

Yes, moving to a house that wasn’t a “home” in a Mormon “Stepford” subdivision played a role also… But there had to be more reasons than that… Hell, I am enjoying it here now… The Mormons haven’t gone anywhere… They’re still here…

I’m mindful now of the “house that wasn’t a home” key… And the fact that shortly after moving to “Stepford” I began working the 14hr death sentence shift work schedule at INL…

“Neighbors” repeatedly knocking on my door within 5 minutes of my arrival home while working that schedule certainly didn’t help make it feel like home… 

It wasn’t coincidence… Once is coincidence… It’s a deliberate attack after that… Especially when the sign said I wasn’t interested… I’m still NOT interested… 

Never will be…

My idea of a “home” is that of a sanctuary… Somewhere safe… Somewhere I can escape to… I couldn’t escape the doorbell and my only escape inside the “house that wasn’t a home”... Was the half gallon of gin I was drinking each week…

I shared an apartment with my three dogs here for more than a year after escaping “Stepford”… But the 14hr death sentence shift work schedule I was still working, never made it feel like a real home… It was a place to nap before going back to work…

I was ALONE in an apartment my first 4 months here in 2010… September thru December… I’m ALONE here and sharing a 27ft RV, in need of work, with my three dogs now… It’s not a palace… But it’s a sanctuary… It’s happy and it IS a HOME!!! The dogs and I are on the same team… I’m mindful and aware of that…

Yes, this blog is followed… I have been unable to figure out how to block that… 

But this is my story to tell… If people wanted me to write warmly about them... They should have behaved better… Word of warning and not just to the ex… There are others… Don’t make me go into detail… I’m mindful and thankful that you’ve made me stronger…

I’m making new friends again and enjoying my work… I don’t have to explain shit to anyone… I only have to understand it all myself… Mindfulness… 

Thankfulness...

Thankful for the mindfulness… Thankful for the people who have helped…


Mindful of the peacefulness… Happy to be here… 

Thursday, August 20, 2015

The Prodigal Son in Wonderland...

Well, two weeks into our return to Idaho Falls… I’m working three nights a week and looking for some daytime work… We’re living on a farm in Shelley, ID… Thanks, Vicki… It a homecoming of sorts for the boys… They’ve spent a lot of time at this wonderland in the past…

The Prodigal Son??? Yes, I suppose my return to Idaho Falls could fall into that description… I’m sure some of you assumed that upon reading the title of this blog… I’m also sure some of you are “wondering” what the hell I’m doing back here… I’m “wondering”, too…

But we’re not here today to talk about me…

No… My “Prodigal Son” is in “Wonderland” with so much room to run and the wide variety of horse and cow shit to roll in… He’s already sampled various “bath shits” since we’ve been here…

He’s also disappeared several times “through the looking grass”… The grass fields surrounding the farm are high enough to hide him and leave me “wondering” where the hell he is…

After his latest adventure this afternoon… He came back tail wagging, a smile on his face and expecting a scolding…

But he came back happy, healthy and CLEAN!!! So there was no need to meet him soap and a washcloth…


My “Prodigal Son” was welcomed home with hugs and kisses… 


Thursday, August 13, 2015

... It's Time To Write Again...

Hello, my faithful readers… Hope this finds you on happy trails… ‘Cuz it’s time to write again… I also hope this finds you excited to know… I moved writing this ahead of taking a shower on my “things to get done today” list…

I do know this story won’t stink as bad as I do now… Minga… It’s gonna make a helluva good movie… It’s my year in review...

Yes, some details have been left out… Some names have been changed to protect the guilty… Other than that… At least most… OK, some… Of the story you are about to read is true… It’s called “Literary License” in the “writing biz”… Enjoy…

So… After Leaving Idaho Falls last August… I spent a week camped with friends in northern Utah… Nearly had the awning ripped off the RV during a windstorm that came out of nowhere…

From there it took me I think two days to get to Ventura… Initially parked at a friend’s house… I took part in The Ventura Comedy Festival last September…

Took a security job at the marina in Ventura… Took the RV to the beach and lived on the beach through the winter… Lots of RVer’s were… Met a lot of nice people… Made some good friends… Lots of people would hang out there… Bring guitars and stuff and sit around and jam… It was really cool and laid back…

The marina was right across the street… Could walk to work… Would take the boys to work with me… Since they don’t look or act like police dogs… I told everyone they were undercover police dogs…

Lost 20 pounds by changing my diet and all the walking I was doing…

The Ventura Comedy Club was right down the road… Could walk there, too…
Was doing comedy there regularly and also a weekly show in LA… Which was cool… But driving the RV from Ventura to LA once a week started to be a drag… It was an hour drive in LA traffic… Then I would have to hunt for a parking place… Sometimes not really close to the club… I would have to leave the boys in the RV and walk to the club… Walk back to the RV after the show and then drive an hour in traffic back to Ventura… Traffic doesn’t ever let up in LA no matter what time it is…

Spring came and when the weather got better, the city of Ventura decided they didn’t want RVer’s camping on the beach… So the cops were there daily to hassle people, give tickets for petty shit… They were pricks… Went toe to toe with a few of them… Figured sooner or later… Me or the dogs would get shot…

Didn’t have to be there and was really tired of going to LA in traffic… So Easter weekend we moved to northeast San Diego County… Ramona, CA… Good Friday… Should have been a 3hr drive… It took 7hrs in holiday weekend traffic… Parked at the VFW there… An old Navy friend was there… I worked at the VFW every morning for a few hours in exchange for the electric hook up… Sweet deal… But I wasn’t doing comedy…

Since I had to quit my job at the marina in Ventura to move… I got unemployment for 13 weeks… Another sweet deal… I made sure I wrote to Harbor Patrol and the Ventura Police Dept. to thank them…

While still in Ventura I had my annual physical at the VA back in January… Won’t go into detail but the doctor there told me I should file for Social Security Disability… So I did…

Well, the middle of June I am on the phone with the Social Security Office two towns over from Ramona… I was using the phone in the VFW Post… It was morning the bar didn’t open until 11am… I had told the guy that I was living there and given him the number there in case he had to call me back… Blah, Blah, Blah… He knew where I was…

Anyway… We were “discussing” my case… And I said… “If my disability payments get denied… I might as well take myself out.” Ah… The magic words… Think before engaging mouth, Steve…

No sooner do I hang up the phone and three San Diego County Sheriffs walk into the VFW… It’s funny now looking back… But…

Next thing I know… Handcuffed and on my way to the VA Hospital in San Diego for being “suicidal”… Then they transferred me to another place, since they didn’t have room there at the VA…

I ended up in the hospital for 12 days… Before I could convince them… I was pissed off and my mouth was running faster than my brain… Though I will say I do think it did me some good to be there…

My friends at the VFW took care of the boys while I was “gone”… I got back to Ramona and the weather was getting really hot… It’s inland so it’s a lot warmer than the beach in the summer…

So a few days before the end of June I decided to head north into the mountains for cooler weather… Spent 2 weeks camping at a Bureau of Land Management (BLM) Campground overlooking Crowley Lake in the Sierra Mountains… We were camped at about 7200ft elevation… Cool temps and we got a lot of rain while there… The mountains around us got snow at the higher elevations… This was the first week of July…

I had planned on going into Yosemite Park… But they closed Sonoma Pass through Yosemite… It’s at 9600ft and they had so much snow they closed the road… Didn’t want any part of driving through snow… So when we headed north from Crowley Lake we ended up going through Reno and camping another two weeks in northern Nevada… While there I was trying to figure out where we wanted to go next…

We were having a great time at both places hiking every day, Riley doesn’t do the long hikes any more… He fell getting out of the truck right before I “went away”… Hurt his leg and I really thought I would have to put him down… But he’s made a great comeback… Now I lift him in and out of the RV… But once he is up and walking he is good and happy…

Campfires every night… Life is good… So anyway… While in Nevada I found out about Silver City, ID… About 2hrs south of Boise… In the mountains… An old 1800s mining town… Now a ghost town there’s a BLM campground within walking distance of the town… Sounded cool… It was… Hiked in the mountains everyday… No noise… No electric in the town… Some people still live there in the summer… Have solar for electric… Sherriff rides a horse… I put his picture of FB…

From there we started east… I was tired of driving so we stopped just west of American Falls, ID and camped along the Snake River for almost another two weeks… Sweet… Swam in the river every day…

Realizing I forgot to visit the Potato Museum when I lived here before… I headed east again… Intending to come through Idaho Falls and go to the Tetons for the rest of the summer… I started looking on line for part time jobs and found the one I started Wednesday here in Idaho Falls… Sent them a resume, blah, blah, blah… Working as a waiter/bartender…

If I stay that long… Still waiting to hear about SS disability, but in the meantime need the job… Still looking for other possibilities, too…

Sent a resume to a place about 2hrs north… A fishing lodge in Montana… Seasonal… through October… Live right there… They give you lodging and all your meals… They close for the winter so then I could go south and come back next spring… Would be cool… But who knows if I will get it…

So for now we are in Idaho Falls… Pulled into the Elks Lodge here Thursday 8/6 after stopping at the laundromat… Almost 8 weeks of camping laundry… Got to the Elks (I am a member here) went to the bar to get the key for the electric hook up… Realized it was the most human contact I had in almost 8 weeks… Except to stop for gas…

Also realized I kind of liked that… Spent 3 nights camped at the Elks Lodge… Then had planned on going to the mountains for a few days before starting work on Wednesday...

Stopped into Lowes on Sunday… To say hello to a friend… Walked past a cashier… Another friend of mine was there buying paint…

Well, she has an old farm house in Shelley, ID… A few miles south of Idaho Falls, it’s all tore up… It’s the house she grew up in… She and her boyfriend flip houses in Idaho Falls and they are trying to fix it up and so she can sell it… So she offered to let me use the electric plug in here for the RV… 

Hence, my status this past Sunday of life's surprises... 

So we are camped here now… It’s like coming home for the boys… They spent a lot of time here before… It’s not far from where I will be working… The boys have a lot of room to roam around and we are good…

So I think I am all caught up… Life is good… We are happy… Healthy and who knows might be getting Social Security soon… Then I won’t have to work the new job and can go anywhere… Anytime…

Might even try booking a comedy tour headed east… But want to be south again by winter if I can… Comedy would be nice… But all my decisions now are based on what is best for the boys… They are my family… So glad to have this year almost 24/7 with them…


And so… Happy Trails to you… Until I Write Again… 

Friday, July 31, 2015

Welcome Back...

Over the course of the last year I have been asked numerous times… If I felt safe camping alone with just the boys in isolated camp sites… Sometimes completely off the grid…

My answer until recently has always been… Yes… Certainly safer than I felt in Ventura, CA… Where it seemed like the Ventura Police Department was a bigger threat to my safety or to the safety of my boys, than any I would find in the woods… 


Until now… In a scene… Actually several scenes not quite out of “Welcome Back, Kotter” my “Welcome Back to Idaho” has brought me dangerously close to some very strange flash backs…

Three times now since leaving the “Ghost Town” of Silver City, ID… People have walked uninvited into my campsite to say “hello”… None them have been greeted warmly… And this being Idaho… None of them were given the chance to ask me if, I’d like to talk about Jesus…

Sorry I am not driving a hospitality house… Like a good neighbor… Stay the fuck over there… 

Yeah… There… Your camp… You want to talk??? Then invite me into yours first, when you see me walk by… Don’t invite yourself into mine, first…

Twice yesterday… I had to thank the universe for the opportunity to be rude…

The first… Despite plenty of shoreline here… It’s a fucking river… Not a puddle… Some asshole… A picnic-er… Here only for the day asked if he could bring his noisy, fucking kids through my camp to let his fucking, noisy kids go in the water there… WTF???

A city boy??? An easterner??? A fucking Mormon??? I don’t know… I don’t care…  

NO… You can’t walk through my camp… There’s shoreline on the other side of the trees… Use that…

Later in the day another camper… Walked in with his wife and one of his kids, there’s at least two of those and a barking dog… I was sitting outside with the boys… Riley and Simon were resting comfortably while JJ and I were having a father and son belly scratch… 

Stopping far enough up the hill to ask if he could come down, when I looked up… My question was… “Why???”

Not bothering with an answer to my question he turned on his heels… Wife and kid in tow and said… “Have a nice day.” 

I was having a nice day, asshole… Thanks…

But even better than yesterday’s adventures in “I-don’t-know”… The first night we spent at Bruneau Sand Dunes State Park… Some asshole… KNOCKED ON MY DOOR AT 1130PM!!!

I don’t know if he wanted to talk about Jesus… But doing something as stupid as that seems like a good way to get sent to meet him…

I never opened the door and while the dogs were barking… I LOUDLY REMINDED HIM IN MY BEST NY VOICE… IT WAS 1130PM and asked him… “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT???

Bruneau State Park is in southwest middle of nowhere Idaho… Google Map it… 

His response was classic stupidity… “Yeah, do you know where the closest ATM is???”

“NO… It’s not fucking in here, ASSHOLE!!!”


Like I said… Walking uninvited into someone’s camp is a great way to meet Jesus… It just might be time to stamp someone’s fucking ticket… 

Only in Idaho… 

Yeah, welcome back… 

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Dragnet... "Dum - - - de - DUM - DUM"

www.televisiontunes.com/Dragnet.html
This is the city… Silver City…

 My name’s Patty…  Hamburger Patty…


My partner, Bull Shitand I were working the Homogencide Division… When we got a call about an attempted homogencide on a camper…


Steve The Nuclear Guy… Had been in town just a few days when he “met” some ATVers while out hiking with JJ and Simon, two of his dogs… The “meeting” was far from coincidental…
Having posted his intention on Facebook, for the world and his ex-wife
to see, to travel to the Idaho back country and visit our fair city… It proved to be the perfect time and place for “the hit”…

Easily set up to look like an accident… The fellow campers/ATVers who he had "met" on the trail were leaving town 3 days before Steve The Nuclear Guy… Kindly offering him the “firewood” they had picked up “while on the trail” on their way out of town… It proved to be anything but simple firewood… Rigged to explode and scatter sparks across his campsite, intending to cause a fire which would kill him and his dogs in a tragic “accident”…
Luckily, Steve’s background as a volunteer fireman and nuclear power plant fire brigade captain saved his dogs, his RV and himself…



His ex-wife…
Still bitter he had chosen his dream of a comedy career over her... Steve added to her bitterness by forgoing that dream to care for his dogs and pursue a life of adventure on the road with them in places like Silver City... Rather than a boring life with her... Now on the run, she is wanted for questioning in this case… Anyone with knowledge of her whereabouts is asked to please contact the Silver City PD to help us solve this case… And bring her to justice…

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Travel Day...

Yesterday… An interesting travel day through a lot of beautiful nothingness… Yet looking back today filled with a lot of lessons…

Not the least of which is… Buy maps… A GPS is worthless while travelling through a countryside where the internet has never been seen and only something people have heard about…

“Internet??? I herd ‘bout that… Always wanted to try that internet thing… I herd ya can see pictures of naked women on that…"

Me… “Yeah, it must get boring only looking at your naked mom…”

So I had planned on camping at a place called Birch Creek in southeast Oregon… But the GPS went off line… Leaving me to try to find it in the back country on my own… In the immortal words of another great American…

“I have never been lost, but I will admit to being confused for several weeks.”
I’m just glad it wasn’t several weeks… Though there were times yesterday’s confusion felt that long… We never found it…
So we are in Idaho a few days earlier than originally planned… Visiting some friends in the Boise area for a few days… Then headed to Silver City, an 1800’s mining town, on Monday… Silver City is now a “ghost town”… It’s not masturbation… It’s sex with a ghost…
The boys and I will load up with about 30 – 40 gallons of water and probably stay there until we’re almost out…
Most likely won’t have any kind of internet/cell signals while there… So it’s good to have one for a few days heading in… We may be out of touch a week or so… But our “connection” and “reception” with the important things will be much better and uninterrupted…
I look forward to sharing the experience with you upon our return to “civilization”… If the world doesn’t blow up while we are gone…
Second… Lost my favorite hat while on the road yesterday… Doing 75mph with the window open… Leaned back to check my side view mirror and whoosh… Off my head and out the window… Damn!!!
Revisiting some things I wrote about in my last two posts…
Yes… It seems like Option #2 is our best decision and I will spend most of August somewhere in Idaho redoing my website and working on booking shows on the road from September forward… Usually booking myself as the host and using local comics to help the draw… I will be able to work on newer bits and improve my crowd work…  
Though I am hoping to book a return show or two in southeast Idaho before heading out on the road again…
Once on the road we’ll head south again… Though taking our time and performing as much as I can get booked… We are planning to be in Ramona, CA again for Veteran’s Day, so I can help out during the “Buddy Poppy” fund raiser again…
The plan now is to spend next winter in Slab City, California… I would like to try running a weekly comedy show there and will welcome any intrepid and daring comics who would like to join me for a show there…
Summers are too hot for me there, so we’ll probably look for a BLM camp host gig somewhere in the mountains next summer…
So that’s the plan for now…
Revisiting something else I wrote about in a previous blog… About my recent hospital stay… And again not to get all spiritual on you… But considering the countryside we have been living in and travelling through… I think I can say I feel like “a voice shouting in the wilderness”…
I‘ve said a lot here about my “unbelief” beliefs… Though I still don’t think there’s an “old man in the sky” so to speak… I am grateful for the almost supernatural protection and provision I am seeing, manifesting and experiencing daily… We’d still be stuck out in yesterday’s wilderness experience without it…
So anyway expect to see it referenced in gratefulness in most of my blogs going forward… The boys and I are not on this adventure alone… I’m feeling blessed…

So… Until I Write Again… Happy Trails to you… 

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

To Be or Not To Be...

So… Yesterday… The boys and I headed north out of California into northern Nevada… Gas is $1.70/gallon cheaper than it was in the mountains of California…

We stopped for supplies… Got a hook up at an RV Park… Needed a real shower and to do some laundry after more than two weeks off the grid in the mountains… Cleaned up the RV last night, too… Despite all the rain we had while there… It was very dusty…

Spending some time today planning our next move… Which brings me back to my previous blog… I have given it some thought and it comes down to three choices…  

1. I can move somewhere there is a quality local comedy scene (ie Vegas) and immerse myself in it… Which would require at least semi-permanent safe place, for the boys, to park the RV and then a small vehicle for me to use to get around locally… I can’t be driving the RV around town and constantly fight to find a place to park the RV while I am in a club…

This option takes us off the road which I am leaning towards not being willing to give up…

2. I can stay on the road and work to build a following through shows at VFW’s, American Legions, Elks Lodges, etc… While still travelling in the RV…

This option keeps us on the road which I would prefer over moving somewhere permanent… I can still write about our travels and it also keeps a comedy microphone in my hand… It also could potentially be more work than option #1…

Which begs the question… Do I want to do the work??? Am I willing to do the work???

3.The third option… which is kind of where I have been since January is to stay on the road… Enjoy it… Write about it and let comedy go…

I think the fact that I am even asking these questions indicates at least some dissatisfaction with this option…

The choice comes down to option #2 or #3… I think I have some work to do…

Comedy is a fickle mistress… One not easily washed out of the blood…


For now… Stay tuned and Happy Trails to You… Until I Write Again… 

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Time To Write A New Story

So it’s time to write a different story… I’ve had plenty of time to think… Lots of it… Hell, I have been doing nothing but thinking the last 6 months or more…

So what have I been thinking about???

I’m glad you asked…

First off some of the things which landed me in the hospital for 12 days a few weeks ago… Let me just say… I wasn’t there on a research project… I was there for depression… Not sure why… I guess that was part of the problem… What the hell do I have to be depressed about??? But shit happens and we deal with it…

Dealing with it starts with ditching the story that got me there… We’re not going to talk about it here…
Though you’re always welcome to revisit older blogs here… and at www.viewsfrommyhammock.blogspot.com

For now let’s just say life has been a bit stressful and there were some things I could have handled better… I won’t take the time to rehash everything again… I’m ditching that story…

What I will say is a BIG THANK YOU to the Ramona, CA VFW for all their help and support… The VFW is a wonderful organization and I will ask everyone to support their efforts nationwide for the help they provide veterans everyday…

So what have I been thinking about???

You asked that already… And I’m glad you did… Yeah, I said that already too…

Well… One question I’ve been asking myself the last 6 months is… Have I lost my passion for comedy???

I haven’t done a real comedy club show since January…

Chasing gigs… The business side of comedy is never fun… No comedian likes it… Lack of opportunity used to eat me up… Especially while I was exiled to the Comedy Siberia of southeast Idaho…

But suddenly it didn’t bother me any longer… It took me a while to understand it… Comedy had always been my escape from a life I wasn’t happy with… Career choices and the job that came with it...

Yes, the money was great… The cost… Hmmm… 12 to 16hr days… Rotating shift work… Sleeping when other people are awake… Working when other people are sleeping… And the health problems that come with the stress involved… Not to mention the stress of shitty marriages and relationships that also graced that period of my life…

Being on the road for comedy… I was free from all of that…

But I’m free of that life now… Is this freedom I am living now what I wanted all along??? Maybe…

The Boys are where the new story and the old story will always intersect… The Boys come first before anything… Comedy or sanity…

Living in and travelling in the RV with them, adds to the challenge… Riley is doing much better, but requires extra care… He needs help getting in and out of the RV… I am glad to do it… I’m just happy he is still with us…

The freedom we live now is something special…We are able to go where ever… Whenever… There are a lot of places checked off on our map that I’d like to see… Some new and some I’d like to see again…

Though I am also considering the possibility of taking a job as a BLM camp ground host next summer… It would require spending the summer in one spot, but would also allow for some sense of normality… Yeah, yeah… I know I will never be considered normal…

The camping would be free and I could get something small to drive for runs into a nearby town to check my mail and grab supplies… I was thinking I’d even be able to grow some vegetables and brew some beer…

Something else to think about…

So I ask myself again… Have I lost my passion for comedy???

It actually seemed to come back while I was in the hospital… But I was on good drugs and I was surrounded by other crazy people…

My act has always been somewhat biographical… Is my bout with depression and trip to the hospital something I should incorporate into my act??? 

Well… I have written some jokes about it…

Can it help someone who hears it, if I do add it to the act???

I think back to a gig I did almost a year ago at the Elks Lodge in Walla Walla, WA… After the show an older woman with tears in her eyes approached me to thank me for ripping into my Catholic School education and to tell me about the abuse she suffered at the hands of her own “Sister Mary Miserable”…

I had always joked that there were plenty of men in the audience who had experienced the same kind of relationship hells I talked about… But I never expected something like that…

It really made me take stock of the healing that comedy could provide… All I could think to do at the time was give her a hug…

Anyway it’s something else to think about and consider…

Maybe the real question is… Do I want to do the work??? I’m tired… I really can’t answer that… But again I was excited about it while in the hospital…

I read three good books while I was in the hospital… I’m not going to get all spiritual on you now… But I will say I do have a better understanding of the Law of Attraction now… Maybe not of “prayer” so to speak… I still don’t believe in some old man in the sky… And “religion” is nothing more than a man-made means to control people… But in understanding the manifestation relationship between our thoughts and the Universe…

I am grateful for the things I am seeing, manifesting and experiencing daily… Somethings seem almost supernatural in protection and provision…

I want to say more about this… But it’s a story for another blog…

For now I’ll leave you here… And I’ll ask… Friends, Romans, countrymen, fellow comics and those who may know me well... I’d like some feedback before I decide what’s next… Here, Facebook, email or text…


And of course… Happy Trails to you… Until I write again…