Saturday, May 7, 2016

Ming-ya!!! Were you sleepin'???

Unable to secure a job prior to his discharge from the US Navy, Stefano Ming-ya reluctantly returned to his hometown. As miserable as his 9yrs in the service had been at times, he always consoled himself with the fact that he wasn't living THERE anymore. Though he had left home at 18yrs old, it wasn't until he joined the Navy some three years later, that he finally felt free of the oppression of Momma Ming-ya. Now he was going back.

Finding an apartment ASAP, to minimize his contact with Momma Ming-ya, Stefano Ming-ya continued to look for work, hoping for the best possible scenario of a job out west, 2000 miles away.  His fate did not have a job for him out west, though and he soon started with the local utility company. Working hard and with many ex-navy veterans, Stefano did well and prospered.  The only draw-back, if you will, being the need to work rotating shift work.  Being much younger than he is now, it was much easier then, provided he got enough sleep.

Of course despite prospering at his job, there was always the distractions of family dysFUNction caused by Momma Ming-ya. Truth be told, she resents the success of her children, it limited her control of them. Why should anything be discussed at a family gathering, other than her latest illness or what her hair brained astrologer told her was going to happen to her kids. Needless to say nothing good was ever predicted, at least to hear her relate the stories. She really believes no one can do anything without her help and then they could do only as much as she decided they were capable of. Yes, she is also a Democrat.  

Always looking for a way to make everything and everyone revolve around her (that must be why she's as big as the sun, so everyone can orbit her), the phone became her favorite tool for dispensing dysFUNction. Constantly unaware of Stefano Ming-ya's rotating work and sleep schedule and ignoring his repeated requests NOT to call, she called. She wanted attention and by god (her god is a little-g, since her god is herself) she was going to get some and Stefano was going to give it to her!!!  How dare he tell HER when she can call and when she cannot!!!

Needless to say this day, Stefano Ming-ya was sleeping. Sleeping during the day because he was WORKING, while the rest of the world was tucked comfortably into their beds sound asleep. Groggily answering the phone, he wasn't greeted with a polite hello. No, he was greeted with a tirade and waterfall of words, complaints about her health, complaints about other family members who wouldn't give Momma Ming-ya the attention she demanded and complaints about him not calling often enough. As the trade continued unabated, Stefano Ming-ya attempted to interject that he had been sleeping, since he was on the Mid-night shift. Ignoring his interjections, Momma Ming-ya continued the waterfall of words. Realizing she wasn't listening, only talking (as usual) and that he would not be able to stop her, he hung up the phone then reached down and unplugged it. 

Returning to sleep, Stefano hatched a plan upon arising that evening. Arriving at work approximately 1115pm, he attended shift turnover, made his tours of the power plant and carried out his other duties required that evening. Taking a break about 215am, he returned to the office. Walking briskly past a co-worker to a phone on a desk. Tapping in the number, his co-worker was intrigued, too many numbers not to be an outside call. Who would he be calling at this hour?

Patiently, Stefano Ming-ya waited as the phone on the other end began to ring and ring and ring and ring. Losing count somewhere around twenty, Stefano continued to wait, until finally he heard the familiar and despised voice of Momma Ming-ya at the other end. “Hello, hello!” 

“MING-YA!!! Were you sleeping??? SO WAS I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”  Stefano screamed into the phone before slamming back into its cradle. Calmly turning now to his other tasks, his co-worker looked up and asked, “Who'd you call???” 

“The woman formerly known as my mother.” Stefano replied with a smile. “Maybe now she'll get the message!!!” 


“Don't call me and I won't call you!!!”

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