Friday, July 31, 2015

Welcome Back...

Over the course of the last year I have been asked numerous times… If I felt safe camping alone with just the boys in isolated camp sites… Sometimes completely off the grid…

My answer until recently has always been… Yes… Certainly safer than I felt in Ventura, CA… Where it seemed like the Ventura Police Department was a bigger threat to my safety or to the safety of my boys, than any I would find in the woods… 


Until now… In a scene… Actually several scenes not quite out of “Welcome Back, Kotter” my “Welcome Back to Idaho” has brought me dangerously close to some very strange flash backs…

Three times now since leaving the “Ghost Town” of Silver City, ID… People have walked uninvited into my campsite to say “hello”… None them have been greeted warmly… And this being Idaho… None of them were given the chance to ask me if, I’d like to talk about Jesus…

Sorry I am not driving a hospitality house… Like a good neighbor… Stay the fuck over there… 

Yeah… There… Your camp… You want to talk??? Then invite me into yours first, when you see me walk by… Don’t invite yourself into mine, first…

Twice yesterday… I had to thank the universe for the opportunity to be rude…

The first… Despite plenty of shoreline here… It’s a fucking river… Not a puddle… Some asshole… A picnic-er… Here only for the day asked if he could bring his noisy, fucking kids through my camp to let his fucking, noisy kids go in the water there… WTF???

A city boy??? An easterner??? A fucking Mormon??? I don’t know… I don’t care…  

NO… You can’t walk through my camp… There’s shoreline on the other side of the trees… Use that…

Later in the day another camper… Walked in with his wife and one of his kids, there’s at least two of those and a barking dog… I was sitting outside with the boys… Riley and Simon were resting comfortably while JJ and I were having a father and son belly scratch… 

Stopping far enough up the hill to ask if he could come down, when I looked up… My question was… “Why???”

Not bothering with an answer to my question he turned on his heels… Wife and kid in tow and said… “Have a nice day.” 

I was having a nice day, asshole… Thanks…

But even better than yesterday’s adventures in “I-don’t-know”… The first night we spent at Bruneau Sand Dunes State Park… Some asshole… KNOCKED ON MY DOOR AT 1130PM!!!

I don’t know if he wanted to talk about Jesus… But doing something as stupid as that seems like a good way to get sent to meet him…

I never opened the door and while the dogs were barking… I LOUDLY REMINDED HIM IN MY BEST NY VOICE… IT WAS 1130PM and asked him… “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT???

Bruneau State Park is in southwest middle of nowhere Idaho… Google Map it… 

His response was classic stupidity… “Yeah, do you know where the closest ATM is???”

“NO… It’s not fucking in here, ASSHOLE!!!”


Like I said… Walking uninvited into someone’s camp is a great way to meet Jesus… It just might be time to stamp someone’s fucking ticket… 

Only in Idaho… 

Yeah, welcome back… 

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Dragnet... "Dum - - - de - DUM - DUM"

www.televisiontunes.com/Dragnet.html
This is the city… Silver City…

 My name’s Patty…  Hamburger Patty…


My partner, Bull Shitand I were working the Homogencide Division… When we got a call about an attempted homogencide on a camper…


Steve The Nuclear Guy… Had been in town just a few days when he “met” some ATVers while out hiking with JJ and Simon, two of his dogs… The “meeting” was far from coincidental…
Having posted his intention on Facebook, for the world and his ex-wife
to see, to travel to the Idaho back country and visit our fair city… It proved to be the perfect time and place for “the hit”…

Easily set up to look like an accident… The fellow campers/ATVers who he had "met" on the trail were leaving town 3 days before Steve The Nuclear Guy… Kindly offering him the “firewood” they had picked up “while on the trail” on their way out of town… It proved to be anything but simple firewood… Rigged to explode and scatter sparks across his campsite, intending to cause a fire which would kill him and his dogs in a tragic “accident”…
Luckily, Steve’s background as a volunteer fireman and nuclear power plant fire brigade captain saved his dogs, his RV and himself…



His ex-wife…
Still bitter he had chosen his dream of a comedy career over her... Steve added to her bitterness by forgoing that dream to care for his dogs and pursue a life of adventure on the road with them in places like Silver City... Rather than a boring life with her... Now on the run, she is wanted for questioning in this case… Anyone with knowledge of her whereabouts is asked to please contact the Silver City PD to help us solve this case… And bring her to justice…

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Travel Day...

Yesterday… An interesting travel day through a lot of beautiful nothingness… Yet looking back today filled with a lot of lessons…

Not the least of which is… Buy maps… A GPS is worthless while travelling through a countryside where the internet has never been seen and only something people have heard about…

“Internet??? I herd ‘bout that… Always wanted to try that internet thing… I herd ya can see pictures of naked women on that…"

Me… “Yeah, it must get boring only looking at your naked mom…”

So I had planned on camping at a place called Birch Creek in southeast Oregon… But the GPS went off line… Leaving me to try to find it in the back country on my own… In the immortal words of another great American…

“I have never been lost, but I will admit to being confused for several weeks.”
I’m just glad it wasn’t several weeks… Though there were times yesterday’s confusion felt that long… We never found it…
So we are in Idaho a few days earlier than originally planned… Visiting some friends in the Boise area for a few days… Then headed to Silver City, an 1800’s mining town, on Monday… Silver City is now a “ghost town”… It’s not masturbation… It’s sex with a ghost…
The boys and I will load up with about 30 – 40 gallons of water and probably stay there until we’re almost out…
Most likely won’t have any kind of internet/cell signals while there… So it’s good to have one for a few days heading in… We may be out of touch a week or so… But our “connection” and “reception” with the important things will be much better and uninterrupted…
I look forward to sharing the experience with you upon our return to “civilization”… If the world doesn’t blow up while we are gone…
Second… Lost my favorite hat while on the road yesterday… Doing 75mph with the window open… Leaned back to check my side view mirror and whoosh… Off my head and out the window… Damn!!!
Revisiting some things I wrote about in my last two posts…
Yes… It seems like Option #2 is our best decision and I will spend most of August somewhere in Idaho redoing my website and working on booking shows on the road from September forward… Usually booking myself as the host and using local comics to help the draw… I will be able to work on newer bits and improve my crowd work…  
Though I am hoping to book a return show or two in southeast Idaho before heading out on the road again…
Once on the road we’ll head south again… Though taking our time and performing as much as I can get booked… We are planning to be in Ramona, CA again for Veteran’s Day, so I can help out during the “Buddy Poppy” fund raiser again…
The plan now is to spend next winter in Slab City, California… I would like to try running a weekly comedy show there and will welcome any intrepid and daring comics who would like to join me for a show there…
Summers are too hot for me there, so we’ll probably look for a BLM camp host gig somewhere in the mountains next summer…
So that’s the plan for now…
Revisiting something else I wrote about in a previous blog… About my recent hospital stay… And again not to get all spiritual on you… But considering the countryside we have been living in and travelling through… I think I can say I feel like “a voice shouting in the wilderness”…
I‘ve said a lot here about my “unbelief” beliefs… Though I still don’t think there’s an “old man in the sky” so to speak… I am grateful for the almost supernatural protection and provision I am seeing, manifesting and experiencing daily… We’d still be stuck out in yesterday’s wilderness experience without it…
So anyway expect to see it referenced in gratefulness in most of my blogs going forward… The boys and I are not on this adventure alone… I’m feeling blessed…

So… Until I Write Again… Happy Trails to you… 

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

To Be or Not To Be...

So… Yesterday… The boys and I headed north out of California into northern Nevada… Gas is $1.70/gallon cheaper than it was in the mountains of California…

We stopped for supplies… Got a hook up at an RV Park… Needed a real shower and to do some laundry after more than two weeks off the grid in the mountains… Cleaned up the RV last night, too… Despite all the rain we had while there… It was very dusty…

Spending some time today planning our next move… Which brings me back to my previous blog… I have given it some thought and it comes down to three choices…  

1. I can move somewhere there is a quality local comedy scene (ie Vegas) and immerse myself in it… Which would require at least semi-permanent safe place, for the boys, to park the RV and then a small vehicle for me to use to get around locally… I can’t be driving the RV around town and constantly fight to find a place to park the RV while I am in a club…

This option takes us off the road which I am leaning towards not being willing to give up…

2. I can stay on the road and work to build a following through shows at VFW’s, American Legions, Elks Lodges, etc… While still travelling in the RV…

This option keeps us on the road which I would prefer over moving somewhere permanent… I can still write about our travels and it also keeps a comedy microphone in my hand… It also could potentially be more work than option #1…

Which begs the question… Do I want to do the work??? Am I willing to do the work???

3.The third option… which is kind of where I have been since January is to stay on the road… Enjoy it… Write about it and let comedy go…

I think the fact that I am even asking these questions indicates at least some dissatisfaction with this option…

The choice comes down to option #2 or #3… I think I have some work to do…

Comedy is a fickle mistress… One not easily washed out of the blood…


For now… Stay tuned and Happy Trails to You… Until I Write Again… 

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Time To Write A New Story

So it’s time to write a different story… I’ve had plenty of time to think… Lots of it… Hell, I have been doing nothing but thinking the last 6 months or more…

So what have I been thinking about???

I’m glad you asked…

First off some of the things which landed me in the hospital for 12 days a few weeks ago… Let me just say… I wasn’t there on a research project… I was there for depression… Not sure why… I guess that was part of the problem… What the hell do I have to be depressed about??? But shit happens and we deal with it…

Dealing with it starts with ditching the story that got me there… We’re not going to talk about it here…
Though you’re always welcome to revisit older blogs here… and at www.viewsfrommyhammock.blogspot.com

For now let’s just say life has been a bit stressful and there were some things I could have handled better… I won’t take the time to rehash everything again… I’m ditching that story…

What I will say is a BIG THANK YOU to the Ramona, CA VFW for all their help and support… The VFW is a wonderful organization and I will ask everyone to support their efforts nationwide for the help they provide veterans everyday…

So what have I been thinking about???

You asked that already… And I’m glad you did… Yeah, I said that already too…

Well… One question I’ve been asking myself the last 6 months is… Have I lost my passion for comedy???

I haven’t done a real comedy club show since January…

Chasing gigs… The business side of comedy is never fun… No comedian likes it… Lack of opportunity used to eat me up… Especially while I was exiled to the Comedy Siberia of southeast Idaho…

But suddenly it didn’t bother me any longer… It took me a while to understand it… Comedy had always been my escape from a life I wasn’t happy with… Career choices and the job that came with it...

Yes, the money was great… The cost… Hmmm… 12 to 16hr days… Rotating shift work… Sleeping when other people are awake… Working when other people are sleeping… And the health problems that come with the stress involved… Not to mention the stress of shitty marriages and relationships that also graced that period of my life…

Being on the road for comedy… I was free from all of that…

But I’m free of that life now… Is this freedom I am living now what I wanted all along??? Maybe…

The Boys are where the new story and the old story will always intersect… The Boys come first before anything… Comedy or sanity…

Living in and travelling in the RV with them, adds to the challenge… Riley is doing much better, but requires extra care… He needs help getting in and out of the RV… I am glad to do it… I’m just happy he is still with us…

The freedom we live now is something special…We are able to go where ever… Whenever… There are a lot of places checked off on our map that I’d like to see… Some new and some I’d like to see again…

Though I am also considering the possibility of taking a job as a BLM camp ground host next summer… It would require spending the summer in one spot, but would also allow for some sense of normality… Yeah, yeah… I know I will never be considered normal…

The camping would be free and I could get something small to drive for runs into a nearby town to check my mail and grab supplies… I was thinking I’d even be able to grow some vegetables and brew some beer…

Something else to think about…

So I ask myself again… Have I lost my passion for comedy???

It actually seemed to come back while I was in the hospital… But I was on good drugs and I was surrounded by other crazy people…

My act has always been somewhat biographical… Is my bout with depression and trip to the hospital something I should incorporate into my act??? 

Well… I have written some jokes about it…

Can it help someone who hears it, if I do add it to the act???

I think back to a gig I did almost a year ago at the Elks Lodge in Walla Walla, WA… After the show an older woman with tears in her eyes approached me to thank me for ripping into my Catholic School education and to tell me about the abuse she suffered at the hands of her own “Sister Mary Miserable”…

I had always joked that there were plenty of men in the audience who had experienced the same kind of relationship hells I talked about… But I never expected something like that…

It really made me take stock of the healing that comedy could provide… All I could think to do at the time was give her a hug…

Anyway it’s something else to think about and consider…

Maybe the real question is… Do I want to do the work??? I’m tired… I really can’t answer that… But again I was excited about it while in the hospital…

I read three good books while I was in the hospital… I’m not going to get all spiritual on you now… But I will say I do have a better understanding of the Law of Attraction now… Maybe not of “prayer” so to speak… I still don’t believe in some old man in the sky… And “religion” is nothing more than a man-made means to control people… But in understanding the manifestation relationship between our thoughts and the Universe…

I am grateful for the things I am seeing, manifesting and experiencing daily… Somethings seem almost supernatural in protection and provision…

I want to say more about this… But it’s a story for another blog…

For now I’ll leave you here… And I’ll ask… Friends, Romans, countrymen, fellow comics and those who may know me well... I’d like some feedback before I decide what’s next… Here, Facebook, email or text…


And of course… Happy Trails to you… Until I write again…

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Movie Night

As I posted on Facebook yesterday… Even though I may not be blogging I have been filling notebooks with thoughts and feeling by hand… #oldschool…

Sister Mary Miserable might not have liked how sloppily they are scribbled in there… But I’m happy to be getting them out and on to paper… Eventually, most of them will be here and easy enough to read…

Looking back it was hard for me to take seriously someone whose knowledge of technology extended only as far as the overhead projector and the metal ruler she hid up her sleeve…

Enlightenment has never come by following rules made by men…

That being said… I want to share with you the movie I watched last night… Silent… And more than two hours long… I look forward to watching a new episode each night I am here…

Camped in the BLM (Bureau of Land Management) Lake Crowley Campground on the side of a mountain at more than 7000ft... The boys and I can touch the sky and walk on the clouds... 

Sitting quietly, the sunset and my RV parked behind me… I watched the moon rise over the mountains to my southeast… As the sunset behind the mountains to the north west of me, reflected off the clouds south and east… A magnificent movie screen projected on to the sky… Better than a night at the drive-in theatre… The shapes and the stories they told were subject only to what I imagined them to be…

Mesmerized I did not reach for pen, paper or the camera… Something told me as I saw into heaven that the moment was only for me and I didn’t want to miss a moment of it, by scribbling into a notebook in the dimming light or posting pictures to Facebook that would have not done the moment justice…

Was this what I was out here to see???   

As the sun finished setting and the movie screen finally went black… I sat for a few moments to ponder it and wait for the credits to roll…

During the entire movie, my RV parked behind me had blocked my direct view of the sunset…  As I walked back around it to the side door of the RV… The credits were rolling… In the dark sky before me were Jupiter and Venus… Closer in the night sky than they had been in 2000 years… Faint hints of orange were still farther off on the horizon…  


Peaceful and contentedly… I rousted Simon from the bed, moved JJ to his corner of it and crawled in to sleep… Life is good… And I am blessed… 

“Happy Trails to You… Until I Write Again…"